BE Yourself pls!!! (why don't you try it once more)

They say if you want to be happy you should work hard for it. But in my case I must say I always try my very best but it always just failed. The more I try to work things hard , the more I could just find the answer. As a human I believe in having a long patient just to have what you want too. Are you really not for me? Your all that I wanted baby, but it hurts to here it over and over again that you just saw me as your very best friend. I don't know exactly what I am to you but sometimes I just can't help being affected on how you are to me. Why can't you just set your feeling and settle it for once? I really tried my best to understand that things won't be the way I wanted but on the other hand you keep on letting me feel like there is more within this friendship. I know you love me too but why are we keep on holding back this feeling. Is it because of her? What's in her? that I don't have. Is she really prettier than I? Maybe were different but does she loves you as much as I love you. Tell me will I have to stay with you or Let the chance cut this fantasy. Sometimes I want to stay away from you maybe that would help me grew up and accept the fact that we can never be the same as before , that what we have right now is just a friendship.

Don't you know you made me cry last night, When I heard it straight from you that your wishing me to have a better boyfriend while you keep on reminding me to take care of myself and teaching me how to prevent having a cramp. If you don't want to make it hard for , then why don't you just stay and be the old person that I once knew. I love you and I know you love me too. Why dont you wake up? And Fight for it that's the only thing you could ever be.

You don't need to take care of me but I guess being yourself is enough.

It's been so long when you are away. As I look at the calendar I count the days and can't help smile there is 6 days to go to be with you. We've been away for only 3months but for me it's equivalent to the days that you were first went away. Most of the time you give me a reason to be torn but in the other hand you weren't giving me any reason to give up. It maybe so complicated but the thing is I never felt that I wasn't that left out. You made me feel like I am not taking for granted and that's the reason why I'm so in love with you even though we both know that someone owns you. But don't you worry as what I have promise I will hold on tight and won't believe in everyone except for you.

If time comes then you have to go I will always treasure the moments we were together. I know the fact that in time we will be parted but I just don't want to thinks about it cause for now I enjoy the fact that you are here by my side. The one who gave me love, the person who believe and I really trust. We may not be consider as lovers but I guess we are more than just lovers. Thank you for the love and the care ,for being my shock absorber, my pillow, my buddy, my bro, my bestfriend , my boyfriend for being my all.

I am looking forward to see you again, I just hope thursday would be a great day. =)

Should I go or not? Pls give me signs.

I am a bit lonely today. I don't know how to express the emotion inside. Looking back I've been out for work for almost 3days ,it just that I have again this idea that I still want to go back ,but the thing is half of myself does say "no". I know I have my reason why I'm always absent but each time I go back to work I just explain this feeling.The shame , i just can't take it anymore. Plus the fact that I felt a bit sawa for having the same routine everyday. I wanted to quit but each time I come up to the point that I've been trying to finalize I got scared. Maybe I won't have another chance to have a better job like this or it might took me so long to find a replacement.All this comes in my mind but the thing is I do admit that I am no longer happy in what I am doing.I'm sick and tired of people who surrounds me but not all. I don't know what to do in my life right now. I still love the job but I have this feeling that I want to get over it. Ahhh.. it's so confusing can somebody explain me? why is it like this? Sometimes when I'm in the office I've felt that I don't belong.Should i go on or Should I stay? I just hope as I come back later somebody could give a sign whether I should stay or not...

..............

Loving you is all that means to me. Forever does not come in my mind. I just can't fool myself from keep on believing that one day I'll learn to let go of this feeling and embrace the fact that we are just good friends. For me, it doesn't matter how things got complicated, how people would see me because being with your side is all that matter. It's a silly thing to say that I don't care if you won't love me back but truly the moment we share is enough. As what you always say Loving is not about having commitment it's all about walking hand in hand through rough or smooth road.

I feel the sincerity and I do appreciate it. Loving you is so hard but fun. It brings joy to my life. Knowing someone is right by my side. A friend, that could also be lover.Somebody whom you can trust. The one who can wipe away your tears and be there in every momentum of your

PRANING NANAMAN !!!

Mahal mo, mahal ka pero di puwede?
Medyo malabo di ba? Pero di nga mahal kita, pero mahal mo siya. Mahal mo siya pero andito ka, Hay...! Komplikado,pero ayos lang. Tanga ba ako? or Sadyang gago ka lang. May mga bagay tayong nais iwasan pero sadyang di maiwasan. Ano ba naman po kasi tayo? di ba tao lang, puwedeng madapa pero puwede parin bumangon.

Kung akong ang tatanungin mo ayoko ng ganito. Pero ano naman magagawa eh tao lang naman ako di perpekto at sadyang nagkakamali. Sabi nila emosyon ang pinaka mahirap naka laban,Ikaw ba naniniwala ka? Ako kasi oo. Gusto mo malaman kung bakit?

Ganito kasi yun, Minsan na tayong di kailangan magpanggap, pero dahil sa pagiging immature na bale wala lahat yun hangang sa yun napunta sa wala.Akala ko dati end of the world na pero hindi eh kinaya ko.

Nasanay ako na wala ka sa mundo pero lintek ka talaga, Tama bang umepal ka ulit? pagkatapos ng 3yrs eto ka at nagbabalik? Ako naman si gaga, still hoping without even knowing na hangang dun na lang lahat. You came to be my bestfriend, diba napaka showbizz.

Kaibigan as in matalik na Kaibigan, Parang ang dali sabihin no. Pero dahil tao lang pumayag nanaman ako hahaha.

Ah ewan di ko alam kung saan pupunta tong kahibangan na to basta alam ok ka,ok ako.

MILITARY POLICE THEY ALL SUCKS!!!

I understand that in military Rules are Rules. It sucks sometimes that they keep on implementing rules that is no longer accurate, I guess! Our crib is located inside the camp, the thing is They have this rule that all people our not allowed to wear slippers. Isn't it so funny? Haven't they think that inside there camp they built some houses or should I say quarters. I know instead of complaining we should follow this so called rules instead but come to think of it. Why don't they have this exemption? Imagine you are just around your backyard but you still need to wear shoes when u could wear a slippers to be more comfy. They all sucks.

I'm tried off those military policies who's keep on reminding me that slippers is not allowed,buti nga sila they are just behind the corner guarding. Hello! I work in a different I travel , and pagod na kaya yung paa ko buti sila nakaupo lang sila most of the time and buti sana kung inaallowed ang taxi pumasok pag madaling araw. Galing kasi nila because they have their own vehicle to fetch them up. Imagine you need to wear a pair of sandals eh bibili ka lang naman ng load sa labas. Diba it so hassle! They don't get the point. OO, para sa ikakaganda ng image nila but don't they think stupidity is the term for that ok lang sana if it is office hello until madaling araw ganun... duh! wala naman kayang pumupunta sa camp nun kundi mga nakatira dun and isa pa even saturday or sunday man lang.

One more thing , I hate it pagnaninita yang mga MP ,they think it looks snappy because they obey rules hahaha funny! Army men are trained to be so bastos? One time I was walking in the transcient I heard of their Men, sinita yung old woman na di niya alam na yung woman na un eh nanay na capitan tama bang approach "inday,san ka galing?" oh diba tsk! purke ba gusgusin ganun na dapat ang approach see? How do people respect you kung ganun po kayo? They should be polite enough and make sense isipin muna nila yung itatanong or sasabihin nila.

I just wrote this one because I'm so tired of those Military police men and that rule, I just hope if somebody reads this they could understand that I am not against with their rules I just want an exemption for those people who live inside their and for them to improve their men. They said they want a great image then they you do so! I'm not against the army but I just dont like their mp. That's it!

=Goodbye 2007,Hello 2008=

Welcome the count down is over another year has already started.Time really passes by too fast.Looking back on 2007,A year that I couldnt think would be a great year for I have experience alot of trouble but in the end I still able to over come it.It was a year of learning and changes.I have realize that coming out of my closet and experienced to spread my wings is the best thing to do.I am more confident and matured enough to make some decision.I had been to independent,I still got dont mind the other people but there are times that I am already trying to cope up with them(having my own world no more hehehe).A very different me a lady who's just starting expose her self in real world.(hehehe) At the beginning of 2007 i thought things will always be the same.Well,when October entered there People who came back into my life who plays really a big part and whom I certainly treasure.I treat as a sign that i would embrassed 2008 with all gladness in my heart.
Well,I just hope that as this year continue It would still be greater than yesterday.The happiness that I had right now should still be continue.=)

Happy New Year Everyone....!!!!

=Like it or Not...There's always a good Benefits=

" In Every situation that we don't like there's always good benefits we could get" -Lorie Gulo Situation doesn't agree on what we want to be happen sometimes.We might not always get what we want.But as I have listen to the sharing of one my Classmate at Sti I got something which marked on mind.She said that as a Philosophy in life she used to take each thing as a challenge.Accepting the fact and learning to seek for the positive benefits she could get through it. I had just realize that she was definitely correct.Life is always a matter of choice.Having that bared on my mind I can actually get relate my own experience from that.It wasn't my plan to take up my course right now,By the time had finish high school I had already made a plan which includes all my dreams and goals but time is so playful I had blown in different direction afar from things that I have planned before. Looking back to where I am before.So weak and cant stand alone.I don't know how to make decision by my own.I quit schooling which made me delayed one year.Following my mother advise.I had shifted from another course which I don't know exactly the nature of it.At first I didn't like it cause I think that course was only suited for those who are having a hard time in school hehehe...am i so mean?oh,well aside from that When I first step in the room I felt like it was a hell because I don't like the people who surrounds me what comes on my mind is they were all idiot and some of them are damn bitch(hahaha). But Getting along with them was so though at first but as time goes by I have learn so many things from them.I saw the things which I haven't seen before.Taking all the sharing they'd share made me realize that there so much to see in life and that I am so stupid to take for granted what I have.I'm still fortunate compare to them.Young and more brighter than them(hahaha). As time goes by i had just realize that I havent follow what I have plan before but taking the path i am taking right now I guess is part of what God has install for me.I have learned that this isnt the best course for others but if only you could understand it more you'll probably know that it could give you so much of what you want. Sometimes you just need to find the best in every thing that you dont want and you'll gonna learn to love it. I regret those times but right now knowing I had undergone what I have been through made me believe more on myself that whatever comes on my way I'll be confident enough to face it.

=too Martir=

I wonder how , I wonder why.How? how come it would be easy to forgive with just one good thing my heart could easily get melt.I am too weak for I could easily get surrender to cupid.Why? Why did it have to be like this. Cupid is fooling around and it made me felt so confuse.One day were not OK, the other day around were fine.It made me feel so sick and tired sometimes but each time you came around I could not help but eat what I have said. I cant just hate you,I could not promise to see you at worst but instead I am more willing to understand your situation. haiyzzzzzzz. I am so martir...Loving you unconditionally was not may intention.My friends keep on telling me that I should go ahead and find another one.Someone whom I can call mine,Somebody who would deserve me.I should stop this "kahibangan"(dw).Well, that's what I am trying but it is truly hard for, i always end up comparing it to you.Baby,it is so hard to give you up.Coz the more I get near from you the more my heart longs to get closer to you if only i can do something to stay with forever. I know its too O.A.But as of now I dont wanna with somebody but that doesn't mean I am expecting you to come back.Its OK if things wont go back the same way it use to be I am more content in what we have right now. The friendship that bind us now is enough for me.And I could say that it was more better.I am glad that your still around each time I need you.Thanks for that.

=Cold Christmas=

Christmas a time to celebrate and A time to unwined.The right time to forgive and forget. To share what we have and to give Thank's for all the blessing that we received. Everybody is so excited. A few minutes to go to start na ng party ,party uulan nanaman ng alak and non stop food trip.hmmm,i wonder why I am not so excited juz like the others. Honestly, i cant feel the spirit of Christmas parang it was juz like the ordinary day.Hayzzzzzz..Am i so numb? i guess so! or juz that I am longing for something.

I'll be honest,I am here but my mind is flown somewhere.Away from reality. I know I'm too foolish coz I cant escape the shadow of yesterday but then pagbigyan nyo na po pasko naman eh hehehe...

I miss him, I miss the way he smile, the way he use to call me baby things we usually do,,,,i miss everythng about him.I cant resist wishing that things wont juz end as it is but then I know I cant turn back the times.Well,I juz hope that Someday somehow I learn how to let go of the memories so that I wont always turn to be so drama during this kind of event.

For everyone may u all have a Wonderful Christmas...Merry Christmas!!!